Jack Palms Flick Blows Up!

More news this week from L.A's Ozzy Sheraton. This time it's Jack Palms that he's following. (Original post.)

Who does Jack Palms think he is, Sinatra or something?

Just weeks after announcing that he had secured private funding to produce “Shake It Up“, the long-awaited sequel to his 1999 hit movie “Shake ‘em Down”, Palms has been dumped into a scandal that even this action hero might not be able to shake his way out of.

Former girlfriend and bartender Maxine Lopez dropped the big one on Palms, alleging to San Francisco police that the money he had secured to develop the screenplay has been funneled into his accounts by a gang of Czech mafia warlords, formerly of the KGB.

Come on, Palms, this is San Francisco,  not Vegas!

Lopez has shot into the public eye, her face now plastered across tabloids all over California, and there is already a rumour that the sassy whistle-blower might have scored an acting contract in LA out of all this.

Detective Pookie Chang, the officer in charge of the investigation, told me that “if that washout Jack Palms thinks he can come into my town and try spending his dirty money, then he’s got another think coming! San Francisco is no place for gangster scum like Jack Palms, whatever kick-ass movie he might’ve made in the past, and however amazing a car he might drive, and however hot his lady friends might be. The SFPD are going to get to the bottom of this, I guarantee you. I think I’m gonna start by impounding that beautiful Fastback for…uh…evidentiary purposes, yeah, as evidence.”

Palms left the SF Hall of Justice with a tall blonde woman in dark glasses who refused to be interviewed, but I managed to catch Palms before he drove off, and he had this to say: “Go screw yourself, Sheraton. Keep your face outta my business!”

Sounds to me like the words of a guilty criminal. Why else would he be so rude to a nice reporter like me?

The couple then  drove away in a Lincoln with tinted windows. Very mysterious.

After all this time in obscurity, why has Jack Palms suddenly jumped back into the spotlight, surrounded by gorgeous women, foreign gangsters and fast cars? Does he think he’s still in the movies?

Someone needs to tell that guy that the goddamn credits have rolled. And if he can use drug money to get himself back on the Silver Screen, then I’ll be the first to say that the Hollywood machine is broken.

I’m sure we’ll be hearing more about this soon, and I’ll be there to catch it all as it shakes down.