Writing Workshop - The Gripping Read - "Dave's House"

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doublelattemama
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Greetings! This post is intended for my classmates in the Stanford Writing Workshop - "The Gripping Read" from fall 2009, but anybody is welcome to read and chime in. I posted a portion of my story "Dave's House" as one of our class exercises and I have now revised the story and posted it as a #fridayflash on my blog. I've attached a PDF of the story and I welcome all comments and constructive criticism. Also, please check out my blog at http://www.inspiredbyreallife.com where you'll find a new story each week. Thanks to Seth for inviting me to post my story here.
doublelattemama
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Direct link to story
For some reason, it looks as though my PDF didn't attach. Here's a direct link to my story: http://bit.ly/cL524O Thanks for checking it out!